I don’t deserve it aka the impostor syndrome

You ever heard of the the term ‘impostor syndrome’.Heard it for the first time from Screen goddess of Kenyan descent,Lupita Nyongo about her feeling like an imposter at times after landing her role in the award winning movie ’12 years a slave’.
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Wikipedia defines the  Impostor syndrome (also known as
impostor phenomenon or fraud
syndrome ) as a term coined in 1978 by
clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes referring to high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. [1] Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. Some studies suggest that impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women.

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This is lupita,incase you do not know how she looks*lols*

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Have you ever felt like a fraud after achieving a feat of doing something really grande?
Or felt very inadequate when asked to carry out a task or when put on a certain platform to deliver?
You are not alone
and I dare say that we all feel this way more often than not at some point or the other in our lives.
I think the way we handle this fear and or doubt is what distinguishes us from one another.
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Allow me ‘learn’ you a bit from an experience of mine.
I got a job to work recently in a fashion company in Lagos.To be part of the design team and generally add my buzz to the creative cloud in the company.
Was psyched as ‘spoon’ (you see what i juat did*winks*)at such an opportunity for me to learn,grow and grow my network.I had already prepared my mind for what I would likely expect while there and DA DA DA…
But boy was I Wrong!!!
Theory and practical are very distant relatives!
When I resumed,started with work being up an about everything I was told to
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So after the first management meeting,then came my job description.
‘Junior Designer’
These two simple words literally crashed my confidence and made me scared as hell.
My brain went into overdrive and I began cover thinking things.
‘What can I actually offer’?
‘Am I creatively capable of surviving?’
‘Would they like my ideas?’
And a thousand other ideas that slowed down my work flow and my performance in general.
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This went on for over a week and I just knew that it needed to stop if I am to progress.
I needed to break down this complex.I needed to stop feeling like a fraud,like an imposter.
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All I did was pray of course first.Then I had to realign my thoughts consciously.
I literally went through an ‘intervention’ in my mind.
I SIMPLY NEEDED TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE.
With major emphasis on ‘MY’.I needed to face my life squarely without any amebo into anybody’s and not caring about what was said or thought about me.
I needed to learn to be grateful for where I am.Be aware of where I want to be and how to get there.
I needed to understand that everything takes time and goes through a  process.I needed to learn to know my process,and trust it.
I needed to learn to Value my light and trust it.I needed to learn to be dogged in my approach.Be a consistent knocker.A warrior who’d rather die trying.A man that lives to his fullest every day expressing his every potential not leaving any stone unturned.
I needed to learn to do as much as I think.Not just thinking upandan.
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My life is important, I am valuable and I need to learn to acknowledge that and walk shoulders high brimming with this confidence.
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And finally I chose to love myself above everything and everyone else!!!
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I daresay we are all imposters,I daresay we are all frauds,I daresay we are all scared beings who are unsure as often as the sun rises and sets.
But
I will live regardless
I will do regardless
I will act regardless
I will believe regardless
And I will love!!!
Because when push comes to shove,it is what I did that counts,not how I felt
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But I digress
Please ensure in all you do that you SHOW YOURSELF AS MUCH LOVE AS YOU CAN because nobody will do that for you.
Selah
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Until next time

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